Trust Fall

I turned 17 today for the second time in my life.

the fear and shame oppressing every cell in my body…

once again sitting with you.

prodded on by a “did you tell him your plans?”

my childish voice sounded like it came from far away…

I am silent as I listen to your response.

the disappointment washes over my body and I hear your heart shatter.

again.

the pieces are smaller this time, harder to put back together…

I notice some shards get lost along the way, never to be found again.

in my mind i’m traveling…

the grand canyon looms in the distance, complete with guardrails and fences.

so protecting, so safe, so secure.

my shell of a body stands on the sidelines…listening,

as my soul sneaks out the back, crawling under a guardrail and through a hole in the fence…

that opens wider the closer I get.

I am done. finished. ashamed at the fact I won’t be able to put the pieces together again…

close to the edge of the precipice, stumbling over your guilt trip, I make a last-minute turn…

to face you.

one last glance at your bowed head and stooped shoulders, I stretch my arms out wide as I go over…

into the only kind of trust fall I know…

the kind where no one catches me.

smileyhappysarah, 8-14-18

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s